What the CRAP?!?!

I am so damn tired of reading history lessons. When can I start chopping my fingers off?! Sigh...

I'm getting really good and ticked off about the impending snowpocalypse IV. Otherwise known as the snowicane, snownado or snowtasrophe. I say SNOW-CRAP! I'm done. And not doing anything with my chef knife is just annoying me that much more. Before you know it, cabin fever will morph into pure distilled madness and I'll be out there straddling a snow mound, beating and screaming "WHY?! Won't you JUST go AWAY?!" I may even roll onto my back and kick in the air while turning my head side to side in a whiny delirium. I'm due to tap into my inner toddler anyway. Life has been kickin my arse lately and it's easy to sit here on my couch and sulk, surrounded by textbooks and unfolded laundry. This is why I need to get to the doing and say to hizz-hell with the reading for now.

When I'm sitting on a beach, in the warming sun, smiling and enjoying every minute of frying my paranormal white skin to lobster shell color, THAT will be the time to read. 

"But Michelle!" you may exclaim, "I thought you were going to go by the book? And follow a very specific schedule?" To which I say to you, you were right, I was going to. But I'm making my own rules, dammit! And this snow is making me nuts! Plus, I think the last week has been pretty boring for you readers. If I was a reader, reading my blog for laughs, a serious history lesson on a medieval chef would serve as an excellent substitute for Ambien.

And why go through all the trouble of re-writing history? Jeeez, I'm not doing all that work again. I'd much rather you read Wikipedia and let's get on with it. This is my own damn kitchen and I'm okay with skipping the sitting-around-on-our-arses part, especially when we are already reaching our limits with cabin fever.

So stay tuned my friends, we're gonna get to the gettin. Because I can't take it anymore! Ahhhhhhh!!!