Like a 17 Year Old Buying Beer Without Getting Carded

Well, well, well. Look at ME! Am I the biggest cheeser you ever saw? hehehe. Hey, am I supposed to wear white? My book didn't tell me I couldn't wear black. I don't know if only graduated black belt chefs are supposed to be the only ones to wear black uniforms but since I make my own rules and I look terrible in white, it's black baby! And I ain't going back! I am as excited as ever to learn how to be a chef all donned up in my ultra cute poofy hat and an overlord style chef jacket.

I have to tell you that I felt pretty damn sneaky when I was at the uniform store. I felt like I wasn't supposed to be there. I was nervous that they were going to ask me what school I was going to or what restaurant I was working in. But alas they did not and I felt like I was seventeen, scoring some Mad Dog, Vodka and Mixers for my friends for a party down by the lake (ahem...Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, I never did that), without getting carded or taken to juvie jail.  So, to sum up the purchase, I have one word for you: SCORE!! Hat: $4.99 Jacket: $14.99

Of course, I did NOT get the jacket embroidered with any kind of "My Own Damn Kitchen" logo. But I do know a girl who knows a girl who may be able to embroider it in the middle of the night in a dark alley somewhere but for now, I was happy just to get out of there without being reported to the authorities. And by the way, I did get the requisite checkered pants too but I am not showing you pictures of my checkered arse right now. 

Now, as your lead student, leading you blindly into the world of chaos, fire, injury and disaster, I invite you to go forth and boldly outfit yourself for the adventure. Wear a hat that keeps your hair out of my food and something to keep your arms from getting burned (trust  me, it happens, I did this two weeks ago when flipping a cake and have the scar to prove it). You can also wear an apron and a doo-rag. Or cook naked with just an apron around your bits. I don't care, just keep your dog damn hair out of my food. Really, I don't like scalp salad. I mean it, no hair in or around my food. I will shave your head if I have to. Bald heads are sexy anyway. Your hair in my food is not sexy and the texture is unwelcome. Have I made my point? I'm just sayin.

With Love,
Michelle