Coffee, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

Before doing anything, I totally need to figure out what's up with my horrendous coffee making skills. I had a Senseo machine for a while, and that was great because I didn't have to think about it and could just feed my caffeine addiction. Sadly, I wore the damn thing out and Senseo machines are no longer on the market (at least where I shop). I could get a Keurig or Tassimo and buy the little pre-measured coffee cups but really, where would be
the self respect if I never learn to make decent cup o' joe?
I bought a DeLohngi coffee maker at Target. And the only reason I bought that particular model was because the filter part swung out towards me and it had a water slide so I could pour in the water without having to pull the entire machine foward. (My kitchen cabinets are retarded and are very low. They also are meant for offices but the previous owner decided it would be great way to save a buck, flip this house and make his dollars).

Anyway, I like my coffee strong, so I put a lot in. There was no math to my madness, just an estimate...like 1 heaping serving spoon full of grind per 2 cups of water. The problem was that it was inconsistent; one cup would taste okay, most would taste like shit and on very rare occasions I could a very tasty mug full of morning gold.

I also tried a french press. Well, that tasted like a burnt mess! EVERY time!

With either coffee making device, I tried tap water vs. bottled, expensive coffee vs. cheap coffee, cleaning in frequently and cleaning rarely. And I found that cleaning more frequently made little difference and using expensive coffee and bottled water definitely improved my coffee. However, I still need to address user madness.

I was reading online that one should not use cold water for the automatic drip coffee, as it will not bring the water to the correct temperature and may cause bitterness. So, okay, no more water from the fridge. I also learned that there is such a thing as too much coffee. Good advice for me as I have a penchant for overdoing the amount of grinds to water. So, I'm going to have to be less lazy and do the math of proper grinds to water ratio. And third, there is apparently a better quality to coffee when you buy the beans whole and grind them yourself as the natural flavor tends to deteriorate over time.

There are conflicting recommendations as well. One website will say that you should not refrigerate or freeze your coffee, while the other one says you should, especially if you don't use it within a week. But they seem to all agree that you should use your coffee beans within 7-10 days from opening the bag. Which begs the question, should ShopRite discard all the beans from the bin after a week? If bulk coffee beans sit around in a store bin for a month or so, what difference is a week going to make in my home? Definitely something to investigate.

Last night, I went out and purchased a coffee grinder that has fine, medium and course grind settings. I picked up two bags of whole bean coffee. The first one is a Starbucks House Blend with a Flavor Intensity of Medium. I normally find Starbucks Dark Roasts to have an extra bitter burnt flavor that masks whatever aroma the bean had hoped to produce, and the brew is generally much stronger than my wildest taste buds will allow. As you know, I love strong coffee, so if it's too strong for me, you know it's bad. Although I am a fan of the Pike Place coffee they brew in the store. ShopRite didn't have Pike Place, so I will give this "Lively and Balanced" House Blend a whirl. The second one is a Melitta 100% columbian coffee. Melitta is a local company so it might not be available in stores outside of the east coast but they do have a website where you can order it: I find Melitta's 100% columbian ground coffee in a can to be extremely aromatic, full-bodied, rich and smooth tasting. There is not even a hint of bitterness, which is something I always appreciate.

Even though I'm ridiculously good at screwing up coffee, I find that I have the most success with getting a good tasting cup of coffee with Melitta so I'm anxious to see how much better the whole bean will be when freshly ground. In fact, I can't wait to smell it. I love to hold coffee up to my nose and just bask in the smell the way a whore does with her cheap eau de toilet.

I invite you to experiment along with me and let me know your findings. Which coffee beans do you like and dislike? Will you be using filtered tap or bottled water? What is your ratio of coffee to water? How strong do you like your coffee? Do you like some translucency or do you like it opaque with a good 1 inch of space for adding a hearty helping of creamer?

So last night, I was doing a vinegar rinse in my coffee maker to make sure it was good and clean. I could not wait to get started experimenting with my coffee and blogging about it but I noticed a melting plastic refinery smell emanating from my drip machine. This wasn't the first time I noticed it. I noticed it the last two times I cleaned it. I figured that maybe because it was new that it had some plastic residue to work out. But seeing as I've had it about 3 months now and have brewed several cups of coffee with it, with often a distinct smell and taste of chemical, I'm concluding that my machine is for CRAP! Ugh!

*SIGH*

Dammit, dammit, dammit...

This means I'm going to have to research coffee makers and find one that is not cheaply made. And shell out more dollars I shouldn't spend. If I'm going to plunk it down like Kramer on Seinfeld losing "the bet", then I am going to get a GOOD coffee maker; preferably one that has metal parts instead of plastic. I don't need to be ingesting BPA anyway.

Hmm, maybe I should go to the restaurant supply store. I know those makers are all steel. Surely I can fit a mammoth coffee maker under my cabinets. I better get my tape measure out.

Until then, I'm going to give the 'ol French Press one last chance to show me it can be a vessel for great coffee making. Some thorough research is in order so that THIS time, I will know how to use the damn thing properly. Who knew so much went into making coffee?

Happy Coffee Making!

With Love,
Michelle