Emotional Cherries in a Cobbler

It's the middle of the summer. And friggin Hades has laid down his blanket of oppressive heat on our heads. If you look out my window tomorrow morning, you'll see my burnt lawn and those invisible flames that distort the view of my neighbor's house. Also, cherries are in season. Heck, don't you think it's time we fire up the oven in the kitchen of my damnation? It's not quite hot enough, let's sear our faces in the inferno of hell's fury!

And in addition to this blazing heat wave we've been having, well, let's just say, life has thrown us a few damn pits, hasn't it? Screw the "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" cheery bullcrap saying. It's up to you if you want to put on a sunny smile while getting kicked in the hooch by this stinkin economy or whatever else ails ya. That's not how I roll. I don't have a damn job yet and there shall be no sunny damn lemonade in this hellish kitchen. So here's my saying:



"When life gives you pits, rip the damn things out with your bare hands! RAWR!" There now, doesn't THAT feel better than putting a forced smile on your face? I give you full permission to dig your fingernails into the skin and pull apart the meat of the fruit; then watch the cherry juice drip down your fingers and your hands like you've conducted culinary massacre. Go ahead, do your best Dr. Evil laugh. Observe the splatters on the counter and sloppy red stains on surrounding equipment to show evidence of the crimes committed against your heart. Rip the pits out! One by one! Yes! Do it! Say "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" Ahhh... feels good! Who said you couldn't have fun in your damned kitchens?

Heck, if you really have your knickers up in a hornet's nest, go outside and throw the pits across the yard. I'm not that upset but I guess if I needed to take out more frustration, then I suppose throwing sterile seeds around my backyard wouldn't hurt anyone. I might aim for a pesky chipmunk (damned things are digging trenches around my lilacs).

Anyway, the really fun part about this cherry pitting extravaganza is that when you've completed the recipe, you've got a nice big plate of emotional eating waiting for you. YOM! (Shut the hell up little angel on my shoulder, I'll go to the gym tomorrow. Sheesh!)

Anyway, here's the recipe:

Emotional Cherries in a Cobbler

Cherry Filling:
6 cups of cherries (pits ripped out and mash if you like)
3 Tbsp flour
6 Tbsp sugar
juice of 1/2 lemon
pinch of salt
1 tsp cinnamon
2 Tbsp Chambord (cherry liqueur), optional 

Topping:
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 Tbsp sugar + 2 tsp for dusting the top
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter + 1 Tbsp for brushing the top
2-4 Tbsp milk
1 egg

Preheat oven to 425 degrees Farenheit.

Combine cherry ingredients and pour into a pie dish.

Bake for 20 minutes while you prepare the topping.

For the topping: Mix together flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Cut in butter with a pastry cutter until mixture is crumbly. Stir in 2 Tbsp milk and egg until blended.  Mixture should form a soft but workable dough.
Take the partially baked cherries out of the oven and place the dough on top of the cherries being careful not to touch the fruit or plate as it is very hot. Then, brush the top with melted butter and sprinkle a generous 2 tsp sugar on top. The dough is not very sweet so this is essential.

You will probably want to put a lined cookie sheet on the bottom rack of the oven as the dough will push down on the cherries and juice will bubble out. Trust me, this is much better than dealing with the smell of burnt crystallized pie juice every time you turn on your oven for the next three weeks. 

Bake for 20-30 more minutes or until topping is a nice deep golden brown.

Enjoy your night of emotional eating. Hell, if you're having a real bad day, go ahead pour some melted chocolate on top - it's like saying, in your own way, bite by delicious bite, that the world can take all it's fake happy crap and shove it. (And then go to the gym the next day and don't do this again until the next year's July heat wave!). And then stop feeling sorry for yourself! Cheer up! Put a big smile on your face and bust out of your doors singing Michael Buble's Feeling Good!

Haha... just kidding. I had you there for a minute didn't I?

Note: I kept my cherries almost whole for this experiment but I think next time I'll chop them a little more. They were just a tad too "whole-y".